The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
