i just had sex bonerless
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
