Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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