I cockslap morals
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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