Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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