careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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