Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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