The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
