They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize