why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
