There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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