guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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