hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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