Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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