K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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