He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
