I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
