Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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