hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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