I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
