You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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