After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Go christen that room with your naked body.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
