That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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