Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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