I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
