Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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