I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
