Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
