Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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