She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
