my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
