She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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