saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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