allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
