he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
