can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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