I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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