i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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