took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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