it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
