You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
