So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
