You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
