he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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