Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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