So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
