he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
