Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
