Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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