Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize