Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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