I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
