Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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(508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d

Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (757)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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(401): she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits. http://tfl.nu/xfwk

Replies (33) Good night (1157) Bad night (6046)
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(217): View more from Illinois

chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense

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(217): chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense http://tfl.nu/k4pe

Replies (11) Good night (602) Bad night (2873)
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(708): View more from Illinois

eww mummy girl is here...

(931): View more from Tennessee

what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.

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(708): eww mummy girl is here... (931): what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals. http://tfl.nu/7ng0

Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (3990)
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(302): View more from Delaware

They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not

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(302): They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not http://tfl.nu/juyk

Replies (12) Good night (1153) Bad night (4385)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(+44): You are the patron saint of my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/rquk

Replies (10) Good night (4236) Bad night (1027)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

(708): View more from Illinois

I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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(630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw

Replies (20) Good night (4980) Bad night (1168)
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(818): View more from California

i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign

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(818): i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign http://tfl.nu/0lhe

Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (4195)
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(303): View more from Colorado

there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome

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(303): there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome http://tfl.nu/x7k0

Replies (8) Good night (5069) Bad night (1424)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

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(812): I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar http://tfl.nu/fo8u

Replies (2) Good night (2042) Bad night (959)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV

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(978): Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV http://tfl.nu/diup

Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (423)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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(309): I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison. http://tfl.nu/fqll

Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (316)
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(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

Replies (5) Good night (2793) Bad night (358)
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(302): View more from Delaware

On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.

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(302): On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better. http://tfl.nu/rs0b

Replies (8) Good night (1122) Bad night (263)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"

(571): View more from Virginia

why not an indie porn pic then

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(202): And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr" (571): why not an indie porn pic then http://tfl.nu/a81c

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (236)

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