Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

Fav 15 25389 1395
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

Fav 11 4051 1172
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

Fav 9 4373 1521
share tweet
(989): View more from Michigan

It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

Fav 3 3319 983
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy

Fav 7 1488 962
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

Fav 7 2606 944
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

Fav 3 1260 664
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?

Fav 0 721 404
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(574): View more from Indiana

Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.

Fav 0 71 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT