He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?