I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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