He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
