When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.