Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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  (740): Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy http://tfl.nu/qjnh
  Replies (11) Good night (1709) Bad night (541)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (1283) Bad night (2759)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles

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  (972): it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles http://tfl.nu/ysqd
  Replies (26) Good night (1179) Bad night (5221)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

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  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5276) Bad night (1440)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  (317): The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad http://tfl.nu/cny5
  Replies (20) Good night (3654) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
  Replies (23) Good night (1563) Bad night (4746)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?

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  (954): I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/ptoy
  Replies (39) Good night (5985) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3691) Bad night (924)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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  (414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8
  Replies (7) Good night (1327) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.

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  (518): It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear. http://tfl.nu/ktyi
  Replies (20) Good night (851) Bad night (1812)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay

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  (559): Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay http://tfl.nu/1b8x
  Replies (9) Good night (901) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...

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  (314): And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb... http://tfl.nu/trz3
  Replies (11) Good night (2300) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome

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  (815): When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome http://tfl.nu/kf51
  Replies (6) Good night (2040) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.

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  (786): I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3w3a
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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  (559): They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts. http://tfl.nu/pgwh
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (329)

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