his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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