why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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