Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
