what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
