I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You ruined the universe
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
